New Mother Cheatsheet

I want to write down some things that I remember, advice that I have, etc from when Charlotte was born so that when we have our next child I can remember.  Also, I figure, maybe someone out there is about to have a baby and it will help!  So, without further ado, here is my "New Mommy Cheatsheet". (As a disclaimer, just because it worked or didn't work for me doesn't mean that it will or will not work for you.  And, I'm still such a newbie at this most of this information could be wrong so take it all with a grain of salt!)

• If you have a C-section you aren't getting into your own pj's until the next day because you've got to wait until they take your iv out.  Therefore, don't pack pj's for the day of the baby's birth and be prepared to be in the hospital gown until the next day.
• Also, be prepared that they won't let you have the Diet Dr Pepper that you've just requested for a few hours after your surgery.  They aren't being mean, just trying to take care of you.  That being said, if you've had a lot of surgeries before and feel fine you might can sweet talk your family in to giving you one before the nurses would approve it, but that might cause you to get nauseous just as you have guests later in the afternoon which is a little embarrassing and uncomfortable.
  
• Don't let the nurses freak you out about something if they haven't talked to your doctor and you haven't talked to your doctor.  I had Charlotte on Friday and when the nurse came on Saturday night she told me that Charlotte had lost too much weight and that we would have to start supplementing her with formula.  I knew that we weren't having big feeding issues other than what was normal but the nurse made me so anxious about it I stayed up for a couple of hours researching things online to see how bad it was.  Then when our pediatrician came to check Charlotte Sunday morning we had to ask about her weight before he left because he didn't even bring it up! He said it wasn't a problem and he wasn't concerned.  I'm not saying that you should ignore what nurses say but if they tell you something that you haven't heard from your doctor yet you should definitely talk to our doctor before you let it stress you out!
• Make a plan for your first few hours after your baby's birth and make sure that everyone knows what they are.  These plans should be fluid but should set up ground rules for who you want in your room and when.  It was really important to me that no one other than Jason hold Charlotte before I got to so we told our parents beforehand that no one was going to be holding her during that time and that when we got back to the room we were going to have family time just the three of us first.  And then we would bring in our parents and my brother and then start seeing extended family after that.  It helped to have that spelled out beforehand so no one got their feelings hurt over unrealistic expectations.
• Try and take time to rest!  You are in the hospital after all and you aren't getting a lot of sleep at night!  It's so hard because we wanted to see everyone who wanted to see us but after a few days of waking up from naps to entertain visitors its really hard.  Try to set up some ground rules ahead of time as to when you'll be accepting visitors so that you can heal but you can also visit with people when you feel like it.  I don't know what this looks like since we didn't do it but I wish we had limited the hours and visitors so we could have rested a little more when Charlotte was in the nursery.
• Let someone spend the night with you once you get home and then when they do let them take the baby during the night.  I so wish that we had taken up offers to do this!  It's ok to need help and the help will only be there for so long at which point you'll still be up all night while whoever was helping will be asleep in their nice, baby-free home.
• It's ok to do things unconventionally at the beginning.  For instance, it's ok to let your baby sleep in their swing or car seat or whatever you need to let them get rest and you get rest.  The low vibrate on the swing worked wonders for us!  Your baby will, sooner than you think, go to sleep in their crib or bassinet, but until then you still need sleep and so do they.  Find what works for you and go with it.  That's how we started using the sound machine.  We tried it one night and she slept and now we don't put her down for a nap without it!
• Even if you're going to put your baby on a schedule (i.e. Baby Wise) the first few weeks don't really count.  Your baby is going to sleep ALL THE TIME and that's fine.  Don't stress out about following the book exactly.  Just try and do the best that you can and it will work out fine!
• Before you go to the hospital set up a season pass or series recording for a couple of shows that you like so that you'll have them.  Those shows in the middle of night and early morning and afternoon will be your lifesavers!  My favorites were 'Say Yes to the Dress' and 'Gilmore Girls'.  I had never seen 'Gilmore Girls' before Charlotte was born but ABC family shows them in order every afternoon at 4 pm.  True story, every time that the theme song comes on Charlotte's face lights up because she's heard it so much!  The series finale was yesterday on ABC Family nd I'm distraught thinking about what I'm going to watch now! :)  But especially in those first few weeks it helped to have things dvr'd so that when Charlotte finally fell asleep on me I could watch shows without having to worry about much.  They also helped keep me awake in the early morning's when she wanted to be up and I wanted to be in bed.
• If you're nursing, introduce a bottle around 2-3 weeks after your baby is born. I had heard horror stories about babies not taking a bottle but, thankfully, we never had that problem.  Make sure your husband gives the baby the first few bottles though so that they aren't confused.  This allowed us to go on date nights or have someone watch her while I went to the grocery store without having to worry about missing a feeding.  Although, you have to make sure and pump if you don't nurse so that's another thing to consider.
• We love going out with friends and family and we've always taken Charlotte along (case in point, the National Championship game).  Don't let your new baby change the things that you want to do.  The baby is a baby and he/she will adapt to the situation you put them in surprisingly quickly.  If you take your baby out to eat all the time it won't be a big deal for the baby to go out to eat.  That being said, if taking the baby out will stress you out don't do it.
• Mostly, do what feels best to you.  Each and every person is different.  You can get advice from your friends and family and you will want and need that advice.  But you're going to have to listen to your Mommy gut and decide what works for you.  At this point it's ok to be selfish and sleep during the day even if people are bringing you dinner.  If they've had a kid they'll understand why you're asleep and your Mom is accepting dinner from them.  And if someone offers to help, let them do something.  They just want to be involved and feel like they made your life a little easier.

Ok, I feel better.  I know I won't remember everything when the next baby comes along (in a long time, don't flip out anyone!) but maybe this will remind me of what I remembered to be important at the nine month mark.  Seeing as I can't remember anything since I got pregnant someone might have to remind me that I posted this whenever that time comes around!